10 TIPS TO A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP AFTER BABY

by manthananam.erem

Heart-To-Heart


Scary to even read, how to maintain a healthy relationship after baby, right? You probably are here because your relationship has already gone downhill. No sex, no energy anyways… and then quarrels, didn’t dream of married life to be like this, did you? But then you love your other half and your half-ticket, your baby, haha, no offense. *uncomfortable laughter.* 

You are fuming, your love doesn’t understand you anymore and your baby is cute but… uh-oh. Trust me, you don’t want me to finish the sentence. YOU LOVE THEM, reassure yourself. Because you are going to re-establish your love and a happy relationship, trust me. Yes, you can. I mean it, haha!

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10 Tips To A Healthy  Relationship After Baby


To resolve a dispute, you need to understand the depth of the situation and the worth of your relationship. And this is what we are going to do today in this heart-to-heart, internet-to-internet talk!

Disclaimer: This post holds words for both the parents… it is in no way a burden to the woman or the man solely, you need to hold it together or you going to lose it, Both. Of. You. 

We will conclude the problems and the possible solutions together. Ready? Tighten your belts for the rough ride.

Healthy Relationship

Healthy Relationship
Healthy Relationship
Healthy Relationship

1. Not getting Sex/ Inactive Sex ALive/Healthy relationship


Problem

I’d keep this above all. Half of my anger was the sexual anger I had. And it was not just for not having it but not having the energy to keep it active. Face it, A room that hums twinkles is a heap of messy mess, is painted in ponies and rainbows isn’t the best place to have sex. Did I forget mentioning your baby being their pooping in its pants? What a delight!

Solution

Let’s not cry, it’s really not the best sight. I mean you are already disheveled and crying would be just cherry on the top. What we can do is handle like adults. The key solution is going on dates. Everyone deserves a good, romantic time once in a while. What you can do is… hire a Nana or call for your family and take a break from all the parenting. 

Now, planning a date is your responsibility, but of course, I don’t mind giving advice. Make sure you are fully rested before you join your date… you wouldn’t want your date sleeping or yourself. Try to keep the baby talk at bay and indulge in actual romanticism. Mm-hmm! I know!

Keep throwing yourself dates like that, it would build your romantic relationship back and well… you will get sex. In the intensity of speaking, I just realized, if you do want to activate your sexual life at home, make sure your baby is in another to another to another room, sleeping(with a Nana!) You get my point, right. Though it is impossible, I’d like to take the chances.

Problem solved, eh?

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2.  Tired Hours, Tired You!


Problem

The diaper changing schedule doing you no good or let’s talk about the 24*7 wake-calls or no sleeps for days? Been there. The build-up tiredness is evident and so is the frustration that takes a new horror face that you so lovingly spill on your partner, BAM! Now you are tired and dealing with a fight and having the tension to win it. Phew!

Solution

Having a baby doubles your work to an extent where you want to quit it all and go deep in the forest. That’s a dream. But always know you are two people and sharing might not take your tiredness away but it sure makes you feel mentally calm.

That’s the keyword, sharing. Not just sharing the workload but sharing your feelings, discussing a way out, sharing love and support. It sounds mainstream but it actually works. 

The problem occurs when there are misunderstanding and miscommunication. It boils you up. My word, don’t keep it in… even if you think, your partner must understand by themselves, still choose to talk things through rather than bottling up. 

Now about that overload of work, split it in two, from everything to everything; the working hours, the work, the resting time. Don’t call for ‘that’s the man’s work or that’s woman’s duty’. It is the last thing anyone would want to hear. You are tired, so is your partner. 

As boring as the same routine is, try to spice it up by… um… switching your routines with your partner. That is the spiciest it gets, haha! So, don’t bottle up, talk, split, switch! Repeat with me, Talk, split, switch!

3. Financial Crisis in the way of a healthy relationship


Problem: 

Having a baby and having enough money would never stand in one sentence except for this. No matter how much you earn, money problems will arise if not spent wisely and usually we don’t. 

Healthy Relationship

Solution

Don’t spend it until is very much needed for you. In the case of your baby, spend as much as possible but not on YOURSELF! To help yourself with money, keep a budget, a limit, and an account just for the baby and for the emergency that might occur. Managing finance can be nerve-wracking, I never enjoy it but it is not impossible.

I’m actually not good with Financing but my word is don’t lose a track of your expenditure, don’t spend for no reason, keep a budget and more to say, budget it down on yourself because damn… baby’s are expensive. I used to think us, women had an expensive life but then have you ever had a baby?

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4. Wanting The Me-Time But Not Getting Any


Problem

This means a lot to me. Baby or not, married or not… I would always want the me-time and it is something I would never want to sacrifice. But now you are married and surprisingly you have a baby, too. Where does your me-time go? To hell!

Healthy Relationship

Solution

If you do share this with your partner, they’d probably want the same… a little time to themselves. Well, that’s sorted… you can just figure out a schedule, decide when and who takes care of the baby. 2 days would do you a great deed but hey don’t be greedy. Whatever you get out of it, accept it! 

Once you are out, be completely out. Don’t think about any of it until you do have the time. Be with yourself, do what you want to do. Scream, yell, laugh, go hysteric… it’s your call, my love!

Read When You Are About To Lose It, Probably Rn!


1. Acceptance


Sometimes what holds us back is us not accepting the reality, we are scared of the life-changing stage this baby brings, but trust me, changes is the second best thing that happens to a person.  First, of course, is having a baby. So, technically you have two plus points. Philosophical much, I know.

Healthy Relationship

Accept that the life you have led in front of you, also chosen by you is going to bring you new changes, new beautiful changes. Don’t be afraid of these changes, welcome them with an open heart. 

2. Understanding for maintaining a healthy relationship


Misunderstandings have done no good to mankind. As much as I recall, it has been a disaster and it is never right. It creates issues that don’t even exist. The keyword is ‘Talk’. Talk whatever you feel, discuss what can be done or how you want things or how both of you can settle it out.

Healthy Relationship

Empathizes with your partner, even if you can’t understand, try to! Reciprocate it, ask them to explain and explain it to them. This is how it’s going to work, no other way around. Breathe in and talk it out.

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3. Surprises


Keep surprising your partner. It doesn’t have to be extravagant, a small surprise would mean a lot to a tiresome individual. Yes, think of the ideas for yourself. C’ mon, you know better about your love and their interests. So, go for it!!

Healthy Relationship

Conclusion


This was a good internet-to-internet. It helped me more… honestly. But skipping the emotional talk… tell me how you are doing and how is your partner and your baby doing. If you have more ideas that might help out couples to maintain a healthy relationship, like you. Do let us know in the comment section down below. Until then,

Adios!

 

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